Monday 27 January 2014

No.5's Tinder Update


Following the cock up that was Thorpe Park, the uncomfortable conversation about my malfunctioning urethra after only two dates, asking for another guys business card on the third, dragging him to Raffles dancing on a school night on the fourth, and him discovering my Tinder blog and reading about all the other men I had dated and slated- it was by some sort of miracle that this guy wanted to continue seeing me...and after experiencing what felt like my very own series of Channel 4’s “Undateables” I welcomed my time with this gentleman, he was keen and it was refreshing - there was no games, so I didn't stop to think about how I properly felt or the wider picture, I was having too much fun.

Safe to say that has been achieved.


Our month dating spree was interrupted by my departure to Ibiza where I hadn’t contacted him because I didn’t really think we were in that place, I just thought we would catch up upon my return but on Thursday night, six days into the holiday I received this:



Followed by a few missed calls throughout the hour, and when the phone rang again at 11.30pm I knew we had a serious case of drink and dial on our hands.


Straight away I could tell no.5 was completely intoxicated as he shyly criticized that he had hoped to hear from me at least after an average of “2.5 days” and said I had a heart of ice and in his slurring state referred to me as an “Ice queen [swan sculpture]”.  I don’t think he intentionally meant to put ‘swan or sculpture’ in that sentence.



It was strange, there was something holding me back from throwing myself 100% into this but at the same time I wasn’t walking away. 



Sitting at my desk on Monday afternoon with a serious case of Ibiza blues you could not have asked for better timing, when a man walked into the office and presented me with an undeniably beautiful bouquet.


It was as though he knew what I would be thinking

I was perplexed, I had never expected these in a million years and especially not the very sweet note that accompanied them, which as you can see, said he missed me.

Who on earth would miss me?! 


I had gone into this with the lowest expectations after all the undateables, and yet no.5 continued to bewilder me with his perseverance. I had been overly confident throughout and not shown a hint of emotion but that hadn’t seemed to deter him, it was as though he knew something I didn’t and welcomed the challenge.

Hmmmmm....

PEEKABOO!


It was clear this was no longer a game or just material for my blog, there were real feelings involved and I needed to think carefully about my next move…so I decided to send an email to outline where I stood, not assuming what was going on in his head but that I didn't want him to think I was leading him on. And this was his reply:



"Admittedly I am in foreign territory here, believe it or not I’ve managed to go 30 years without being the one doing the pursuing. It’s sweet that you’re concerned about leading me on, but this doesn’t need to get complicated or painful. It’s simple really, I guess there are 3 doors:
 Door number 1
Behind this door is just a casual hook up. Nothing emotional, no attachment and no commitment. Just something that we both accept is pretty meaningless. However, there is a slight problem with this door, for it to open both people have to have the same expectations and want exactly the same thing -  I don’t think this is the case here so I’d suggest it’s not really an option.
 Door number 2
To open door number 2 you have to have some sort of attraction to me beyond “he’s OK and he pays for dinner” (not that I think you’re like that). It doesn’t mean I’m asking you to commit, or change your life plans, or do anything full on – no changes of facebook statuses or meeting parents. It simply means that, despite your best efforts, you do actually ‘like’ me and you want to see where this goes. In time this door might end up turning into something a little more serious, or for whatever reason it might not, but either way for this door to be worth opening you will need to drop your guard, at least a little and be a bit more open about where your head’s at.
 Door number 3
 This door is the exit – I will obviously be disappointed if this is the door you choose, but I’m a big boy so if this is what you want – be honest (I won’t go all stalkery or anything) I can understand if you’re having fun going on dates and you want to do the whole blog thing.
 To spell this out, just in case it wasn’t glaringly obvious – I’m door number 2. Believe me, I didn’t enter into this looking for anything, so you did catch me by surprise a little. But… I think you’re beautiful, funny and smart and I enjoy spending time with you. I realize that you might not know exactly what you’re going to do next but I actually like the fact you have your own life and I’m not asking/expecting you to make life decisions around me. Spending a bit of time together isn’t going to be hard it will just mean you want to, and are prepared to, make a little bit of effort.
Anyway, no obligation or explanation required you can just pick a door….x"

Oh my days

He could not have been clearer about where he stood, I was dumbfounded, not to mention completely taken back by his honesty.

...uh oh was my heart of ice melting?!


Eeek time to take responsibility...there was a decision that had to be made.



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