My Fifth Tinder Date

Tinder Date Number 5 – Date One

I was having a bit of a shocker on the day of this date...I was in one of those girly predicaments where by my leg hair had reached the stage when it was no longer acceptable to wear dresses  in public but the hairs were not yet at a length where it was justifiable to pay for a wax. 

But realising my summer date outfit options were being severely limited by my gorilla legs, and given my current body fat percentage, didn’t allow for jeans without muffin top, I sucked it up and decided to pay out. 

Unfortunately I am not one of the girls who go for a wax and it goes unnoticed, no no, I look like I stole my legs from the poultry section in Sainsbury.  

but luckily for me by the time I got home and had applied copious amounts of tea tree, my skin looked relatively normal and less like they belonged seasoned in your oven.  

I had initially started chatting to date number 5 whilst I was on holiday with a friend in Spain.  Luckily for me Tinder hadn't picked up that I had left the country and I was still fishing for men in the UK, but unfortunately for my single friend, Tinder had registered she was no longer on British soil and her pickings were limited to Fernandos, Juans, and Sergios - Mega LOLs.

Number 5's  profile photo was the kind of picture that I would upload- one of those photos that you believe depicts you as a fun-loving person, but your mother would never put in a frame. 

He was 30 years old, looked like he could be entertaining, had the ability to dress well, he only had clothes on in 2/5 of his photos, and was a man of reasonable stature…all 6’5” of him. 

I was quite looking forward to date number 5 as his messages had tickled me, although after the last 4 Tinder experiences, my expectations had lowered considerably and I was well aware I had resorted to a man with topless photos on his profile.  My only real concern was that he may be slightly ginger and I couldn't see his teeth.

I arrived at date destination number 5, to see the man that was actually a lot better looking in person, I dread to think what they all think of me, and not only was he 6’5” but he was what one could only describe as a unit.  Admittedly I had noticed in his photos that his biceps resembled similar to that of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and my favourite Kiwi friend had passed remark that she thought his mother had fed him creatine from birth but I didn’t think it was appropriate to ask on our first date. 

Conversation flowed from the start and there was no sign of the awkward sweats. Result.  I was in sheer amazement – was this a normal date? 

One thing was for sure it was worlds apart from my other dates, who were a bunch of helmets*.

*I would just like to exempt number 3 from this labelling, who was actually a lovely guy and incidentally has asked me out again. For ease of evaluation we shall call him Mr Tequila from here on in.

The evening ended well and the next day number 5 invited me to do something on my weekend. I only really had my Sunday free so I gave it to him… then two things occurred to me following this suggestion…

1. Did I really want this guy to see me in broad day light on our second date?                                  Visually I look better after dusk/in low level lighting or in the dark.

2. What do you do on a day date with a guy you have only met once?!

I personally didn’t want to sit around drinking and eating in usual date fashion and thought we needed something more original for our second date especially if it was going to be during the day.  Being slightly ridiculous and thinking he would potentially go for it, only one thing kept popping into my head...so I went ahead and suggested Thorpe Park……….to a 6’5”………30 year old...

Even the logo looks childish

I realise I had willingly put myself into a potentially very awkward situation…10 hours with a guy I had only met once before…was this Bold or stupid? Some may say courageous.

I knew I was getting myself into a situation that had the potential to go so terribly wrong but not in the way I every imagined it would….it was so so much worse.

Follow me on twitter for updates @shivermetinder