Shiver Me Tinder : Some (surely obvious) Rules of Tinder

1. Don’t add pictures of you with children. You may be a caring uncle but it can be misleading. There is a strong chance a girl won’t take the time to find out that the two kids in picture 3 on John's profile, actually belong to his sister.

2. If you have been honoured enough to have been asked to be best man at your mate's wedding – great! But don’t add a picture of just you and the bride- confusing and misleading.

3. Don’t have a topless selfie as your first photo, the right type of girl will not appreciate this and quickly swipe you left.

4. Don't insult the respective other half in the first message.

5. If you are only after sex, be tactful. Don't open with the line "I am not looking for a relationship", that is something that very few girls want to hear.

6. If you manage to get to a first date, DON'T let the girl pay/get a round/split the bill. Be a man. Initially, we all want to be woo'd, and this is where girl's like tradition. Of course, we have all been dragged up well, so we will always offer, but for gods sake, don't take us up on it.

7. If you have a criminal record, I am not one to judge, but I would advise against mentioning it on your first date, not the best topic to start the conversation.

8. Girls, if you live in the same area as your best friends, and have similar taste in men #talldarkandhandsome check in with each other occasionally to ensure you are not chatting to the same guys, no-one needs a cat fight over a man you haven't met. And gents, if you match with two girls, who both feature in each others profile photos - use your head, don't go on a date with one, and then message the other when you get home. #girlstalk

9. If you are going to upload group photos of you and your friends to show how many friends you have/ how much fun you are, that is fine, but for goodness sake make sure there is at least one snap of you on your own, no one is on Tinder to play "Guess Who?"